A Positive Outlook

The past week or so has been a struggle for us to stay on track and leave progress alone, and although we haven’t been 100% successful we are learning things about ourselves more and more.  It made me realize that our official start date is March 15, 2014 to begin paying off our debt, so any progress we make between now and then is like a bonus!  We may not be as far as we’d like to be by the official start date but that’s ok.  I would rather learn the things I need to learn before that time so that when it’s here we are actually further ahead.

It’s hard for me to stay positive because I like to see results super fast.  When that doesn’t happen I get very discouraged.  I try to keep in mind that we didn’t get this far into debt overnight and it we won’t be out of it overnight either.  We have a long way to go with a lot to learn and a lot of bad habits to break along with relearning how to guide our thoughts in the right direction, but I am confident we will succeed!!

Struggling

I never expected this journey to be easy.  I knew I would run into times of things getting hard and right now I am in one of those times.  I am struggling to keep my enthusiasm and momentum, especially since it’s not going as fast as I wish it would.  With the looming threat of a government shut down and possibly not getting paid on time just makes it stressful, not thrilling like it was when we started.  I know it will all work out in the end, and it may take us longer then we would like but it still sucks in the moment.  I will keep on moving on towards positive progress but damn……it just sucks today.

They Say It Takes…

They say it takes three weeks to break a habit.  I have to say that is true in our case.  We are six weeks into no check writing.  In one of my first posts I talked about how we ripped up every single check we had in this house because we would dip early into the next paycheck.  It would prevent us from moving forward and it had us stuck.  That was the first thing we did to get ourselves on this debt journey, get rid of all the checks to get rid of the temptation.  Last night was the first time I have thought about a check in about 3 weeks.  I didn’t think about it for writing a check but because I realized last night that it has been six weeks and I haven’t thought about it.

I also realized that, as strange as this may sound to some, checks were like a drug for me.  When we did write a check, although I knew it wasn’t a good thing to do because we didn’t have the money yet, it was like a rush because now I didn’t have to wait another week until payday before I could have money.  Maybe the check wasn’t like a drug, but the money sure was.  It felt good to have that money, even though it was only for a couple days at most.  If I didn’t get rid of all the checks I would probably still be doing it today because I wasn’t strong enough to stop myself.  It wasn’t until I cut them all up that I felt empowered to resist writing a check and to not order anymore.  I haven’t ordered any and for the past month we have not been without money.  Granted, it’s not very much money left by the time we get paid again because we budget all our money out and put most of the left over money to our debt program, but we do have some left and that never happened prior to my check destruction.

So, in this particular matter, I can attest to 3 weeks of breaking a bad habit and 3 weeks of building a new good one to replace it.  I am really enjoying this process and realizing things about myself that I otherwise wouldn’t have.

A Victory and Some Common Sense

Baby-step 1 complete!!!  It took us about 36 hours to sell our iPads and a couple other things to get the $1,000 for our Emergency Fund.  We transferred the Paypal money into our bank account and when it is deposited we will be opening up a local savings account.  I was a little apprehensive about selling the iPads.  I’ll be honest, I have had it attached to my hip for about 6 months that until I forced myself to really think about it, I didn’t remember that not that long ago we didn’t have them and we were completely fine.  I know that sounds ridiculous, it even makes me chuckle writing it, but it’s true!!  I am glad we sold them though.  It feels good to know that we sacrificed a want so we could gain a need.

Now moving on to Baby-step 2, snowballing our debt.  I am excited for this part.  Even more excited because the more we think about it the more decisions we make that make sense.  For example, today we were thinking about our car back home.  We have had it for about 3 years, it’s a $700 payment a month (which is crazy!!!), and we justified keeping it because we would be back in the states in a couple years.  Well, we are now staying in Okinawa until 2017, if not longer, and we can no longer justify keeping the car and we really don’t want too.  So, we decided to sell the car for what it’s worth and if we have to go lower we will make up the difference ourselves.  That will be $700 a month back into the paycheck to go to our other debts and that will eliminate a big chunk of our debt too.  Things like that are what I’m talking about!  I feel like with each step we get wiser and more mature in the way we handle our money and we get better and better in telling our money where to go.

I am so glad we started this quest and we will finish with great pride!

Becoming More Aware

Yesterday was the worst day I have had in a very long time.  Without going into detail, my 2 month old kitten died and it was very hard for me to deal with because of how it happened.  I cried, seriously, for about 5 hours straight and on and off throughout the day.  I didn’t want to be in the house and just had to get out.  So, I decided to go to the store because my son needed a new binder for school.  I should have known better!

We got to the store and the first thing we run into, a saleswoman selling this really good smelling perfume.  You buy the big bottle of perfume for $40 and get a lotion and travel size perfume for free.  Of course, I put it in my cart.  Then we go to the electronics department and I grab a pair of $42 noise canceling headphones for my transcription job from home and put it in my cart.  We start walking around and I am thinking about anything I may “need” and then I realize what I am doing.  One reason I spend money is because of how I am feeling, or “emotional spending”.  I usually don’t realize what I’m doing though until after the fact.  Well, yesterday I realized it when we were at the store.  I caught myself emotionally spending.  I went to the store for one thing, a binder, and because I was so sad and just wanted to feel better I started picking things up that I really didn’t need.

I am so glad I caught it at the store because when I did I took both items out and put them back.  $82 not spent because of a bad day.  I am proud of myself for that.  Next time I am having a bad day, I won’t be going to a store!

My Guilt Is Affecting My Success

I feel so incredibly guilty.  I can’t seem to move past it so I can make the best decisions that will get us to our goals faster.  My guilt is with my children.  I don’t want to take away from them so we can succeed.  Let me start at the beginning though because we messed up when we first started.

The first step in Dave Ramsey’s plan is to build an emergency fund of $1,000 before you move on to paying off your debt.  Well….we have $0 in our savings for our EF.  We thought it was ok to do that with our tax returns and just jump right into step 2 and start paying off debt.  BAD IDEA!!!  I now realize that because we didn’t pay off our credit card we planned on paying off because we were worried about something happening and not having an EF to fall back on   Our mistake, our bad decision, our poor planning.  Here is my dilemma.  I know that I can have our EF put into place fully by selling some things in our house.  For example Xbox and all games, controllers, charger, headset, our Wii with all games, all our mini iPads (we have 4, one for me and one for each kid), our extra TV and our extra Apple TV.  That right there would probably get us the Emergency Fund easy.  My problem with guilt is that most of those things are our childrens.  We got it for them.   I feel guilty for even considering selling it and taking it away from them due to our past mistakes.  This is really hard for me.

Someone just suggested to me that I allow them each to pick one thing they want to keep and sell the rest.  I am really considering doing that instead of selling everything.  That way they don’t feel like I am punishing them for something they didn’t do.  We’ll see, but right now I feel like a failure, a bad example, a bad Mom, and I just want to wish it all away.  Too bad that doesn’t work.  Being mature can be so hard.  I will get through this though.

Children Are More Understanding And Accepting

One thing about this journey that makes me anxious is having to say “no” to my children more often.  I feel guilty not allowing them to go out and have fun when it requires spending money, or having birthday parties, etc., during this journey because it isn’t their fault.  We are here because of decisions that we, as the adults of the home, made ourselves.  Our kids didn’t make these decisions and they didn’t force us to make them either.

I have been thinking a lot lately about Christmas.  We don’t do big Christmases so that’s not the issue.  Our Christmas usually consists of about 3-4 present for each kid and one from Santa along with stocking stuffers.  We usually spend less then $500 on Christmas.  But, with our journey beginning this month I have been questioning how to handle Christmas this year so we don’t fall behind in our plan.  Now last year, we did 3 presents for each kid and volunteered as a family at our local USO to set up a free Christmas meal for military members and their families.  It was fun and the kids enjoyed it.  They even each were given a movie from the USO for helping that day.  So, what to do this year???

I talked with my kids this morning and asked them if they would be OK with us not buying each other Christmas gifts this year because Mom and Dad are putting all our extra money towards getting out of debt so that we can start living better and enjoying life more in a couple years.  I was cringing waiting for their response.  My children showed me today that they are more understanding and accepting then I give them credit for.  They are unselfish and caring and want us to be better as a family.  They each said they would be OK with it, not a big deal, and my youngest even said he would rather volunteer as a family again instead of presents this year.  I love them so much and am so proud they are my boys!

Thanks to my children’s reaction my anxiety about Christmas is lower.  I think we will not do gifts this year but we will find an opportunity to volunteer as a family and then go and do some fun roller slides that day instead.  We can have an amazing Christmas as a family without spending lots of money, and with spending NO money at all!!  I am so thankful my kids know that and don’t feel deprived over it.  This is going to be a great Christmas this year 🙂

Anxieites Are Rising

The closer we get to payday the more my anxieties rise and I want to change things around.  I know I don’t need too, we have everything budgeted out including entertainment and eating out.  Things we can do so we don’t feel “deprived” while we are paying off the debt.  My mind is still stuck in old habits which is why I am going to push through and force myself to follow through with the plan laid out so I can prove to myself that there is no reason to be anxious.  Old habits are so hard to break.

They say it takes 21 days to break a habit.  I am going to put this to the test.  21 days of following through with the plan we laid out for us, 100% commitment to not spending a penny that wasn’t allotted for something.  A mind changing process of steering my thoughts towards patience.  Reminding myself that there is no reason why we have to have or do something now that can wait until later.  Finding other things to do that don’t cost money when the urge to spend raises its ugly head.  A lot of snorkeling I foresee in my future!!

I am not sure why my anxiety rises when it comes to money.  It rises when we are in financial trouble or hot spots, I understand why that happens in those cases.  But, my anxiety also rises when I know we are in a good spot and there is left over money.  Even when it’s directed towards something it’s like I get anxious because instead of using it for debt pay offs and savings, anything that will better our future, I want to use it to get things that I want to have.  This is where my bad habits come into play.  This is what we would do before if we had left over money.  We would blow it, waste it on unnecessary things.  I am determined this time to not go that route, no matter how hard it may be.  I plan on using my support system, which is my husband and a Dave Ramsey group I am a part of on FB.  It really helps to be able to lay it out there for them to see what I am going through/thinking/feeling and get their input and encouragement and some news ways to handle it.

I may not understand fully or be able to explain in a way for people to understand about my anxieties but I know that I am not the only one who goes through it.  I will get past this, I will change bad habits into good, I will turn our situation around and better our future.

Living Like No One Else…

I will live like no one else today, so I can live like no one else tomorrow!

Now obviously, I am not the only one who is on a journey of getting out of debt.  I know I am not the only person who is making sacrifices and make extra payments on their current debt to be rid of it faster.  But, I still keep that statement in mind because honestly, most everyone I am around on a daily basis aren’t doing it.  A part of the reason I fell into these bad habits to begin with.  I am not blaming my bad habits with money or debt on anyone but myself, but living like everyone else today is a part of why I am here right now.

I take this statement to heart.  I am still learning to the full extent what it means.  I still hold back on being super intense (gazelle intense for all you DR fans).  I want to sell the Xbox and Wii, I want to sell the extra TV and Apple TV.  I want to put that money towards our next CC we will begin to pay off.  I hesitate though because of my kids.  I know they would be fine, but my kids didn’t make the debt decisions I did.  It wasn’t their fault and I feel that if I sell the things that are theirs that would be wrong of me to do.  So, although I am still deciding what kind of living I am willing to do, I am still making some decisions that most everyone around me is not so that in the future (tomorrow), I can have fun to the fullest without taking on more debt.  I can say “sure I can go out to eat with you”, “sure I can go get a pedi with you”, on a moments notice.  I want to be able to turn to my kids in the morning and say “let’s go out today and do this and this” and not have to figure out how we can afford it.

This journey continues to open my eyes to the real reasons behind what got me here and why I want to change it.  I will continue to focus on those whys and although I will make mistakes, I will not allow us to get back to where we started, in debt and drowning.

If you are willing to live like no one else today so you can live like no one else tomorrow, follow my blog and like my FB page and let’s get in on this journey together!!

Free and Fun

As part of our “getting out of debt” plan we are having to think of fun and free things to do as a family and a couple.  We budget ourselves 3 “out to eat” meals per month, two for the family and one for a date with a spending limit of $50 per meal (less if we can, depending on where is chosen).  We also budget $100 per payday for a family fun activity.  So, if we want to do anything else and the budgets are depleted then it has to be free.  This has been a little difficult for us because we are all different in what we like and it’s hard to agree on something.

My husband and me love to snorkel though and we recently discovered this activity together.  It’s such an amazing experience each time.  We can’t get enough of it.  We go usually once, sometimes twice, a week.  As a family we have come up with things to do, it’s just a matter of getting our kids to stop complaining and start enjoying.  We enjoy hiking to waterfalls, the free parks, the beaches, etc.  There are things we haven’t done yet like the street festivals with the Eisa Drummers.  We are still discovering things and hope to build an extensive, diversified list of choices.

It’s so important for us to have this list of choices or we know we will have a hard time staying on budget.  We are still in the process of breaking our bad habits and replacing them with good ones, so as long as we have an already made list of choices each time we are itching to do something, I am pretty sure we can avoid the money trap.  I want to make sure that as we are paying off this debt we stay on track by allowing us to have some fun along the way.  Nothing too fancy or too expensive, but enough to know that we are doing something great for our future while still enjoying each day to the fullest 🙂  We will limit what we do now so we can have more fun later!!